


My Name is Barry Allen

by DarkElements10



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-15 16:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13034787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkElements10/pseuds/DarkElements10
Summary: Thank you so much everyone, I hope you enjoyed it. I hope it wasn’t too depressing. And I hope the ending was just as hope filled as the rest was kind of dark. Who knows what would happen if Barry ended up dying (though now I’m wondering how the show will actually end). I hope it resonated with you in some way.





	1. Captain SIngh

**My Name Is Barry Allen**

**By: Riley**

**Summary _–_** He was supposed to make it back. He was supposed to save the city and return to STAR Labs for his victory party. But he knew there was a chance he wouldn't make it and needed to let everyone know his story.

* * *

**Chapter One: Captain Singh**

* * *

 

_"My name is Barry Allen…and I have a lot to say. Things that I never thought I would ever have to say, but due to unforeseen circumstances, if you're watching this, then you'll know I'm no longer here."_

Captain David Singh wasn't the hardass he let everyone believe.

He was actually a very sensitive soul who had become very desensitized to the world around him. He had seen his fair share of car accidents and industrial accidents, domestic abuse cases and wellness checks, and drug deals gone wrong. In the end each and every case haunted him, but in his line of work it was just another day. So he made jokes and worked to make sure everyone under him was able to push things aside and continued working.

One day at a time, he constantly reminded them.

He put up a wall and that wall was hard to break down. His husband, Rob, knew when David Singh returned home from work that he was to give him space to distress and turn back to the loving man he didn't particularly show to those that worked around him.

Only the select few. He wished one of those select few were Barry Allen.

The same Barry Allen who died while trying to save the city.

It had been a harsh blow for everyone around him, but for Captain Singh it was even harder. Because even without having been told; David Singh knew Barry Allen was The Flash.

It was such a crazy notion when it first crossed his mind. It explained all of the absences, all of the strange excuses to leave, how he managed to get from one place to the other with little effort, how he always managed to do what would've culminated in being a few days of work into a few hours. Truthfully, Captain Singh—fondly—thought Barry Allen was nothing but a science nerd who was eager to learn and make a difference.

He knew Barry's entire background; of how his mother was murdered when he was young and his father framed for the crime. How Joe, the supposed murderer's best friend, took Barry in. How Barry continuously tried to run back to his home, his sanctuary, no matter how vandalized it became. How Barry would be found frantically ripping down the police tape that enclosed the house like a straight jacket. The tape ripping apart like it was nothing.

How he would take buckets of water and a brush and scrub and scrub and scrub at the foul graffiti until his hands were red, raw, cracked, and bleeding. How Barry would continuously stick to his story that his father would not and _could not_ look him in the eye and lie about _not_ killing his mother.

How Barry would be forced to go to therapy sessions, be interviewed at the CCPD, and speak to psychiatrists who tried again and again to break him down and insist, _"You saw your father kill your mother, and you were so traumatized that your mind made up the 'Man In Yellow'."_

And how Barry would insist back, _"He would never do that" _with as much conviction that Captain Singh could feel his eyes burn into him even through the glass that separated them. How even though his eyes would be filled with tears that there was a burning fire of determination that would never be quelled. So Captain Singh wasn't surprised when the next thing he knew he looked up and there was Barry freaking Allen standing at his desk with an application in hand saying he wanted to become Central City's newest forensic scientist with the CCPD.

How after the first few minutes of the interview Captain Singh knew he was going to hire Barry and that he'd be a great asset to the police force. But he had to make Barry work for it; it wasn't going to come easy. And still, despite having such a young face that never had him taken serious and little other than the degree he—rightfully—obtained in a few years, Barry took everything in stride and worked hard. That same fire of determination Captain Singh saw in his eyes years ago.

And now it was gone.

As Captain Singh sat at his desk he looked out through the windows that surrounded his office and at his co-workers, at the men and women he had worked with for the last twenty years of his police career. How they continued to put themselves in the line of fire day after day to protect the citizens of Central City. They all moved slowly, as if underwater, going through the motions without thinking of their next move. And yet, they simultaneously continued to avoid speaking, knowing what the conversation topic would move to.

The CCPD was _never_ this quiet.

Captain Singh's day was _never_ so mellow. On almost a daily basis—he could practically set his watch by it—there'd be some sort of a metahuman crisis that would have Joe and Barry stand to the side and speak quietly as if no one noticed them. Then they would leave in a hurry and Captain Singh would lean back in his seat and go to the news reports to see what The Flash was going to take on that day. Then Barry would be back at the office, acting like everything was okay even if he'd be slightly out of breath, slightly jumpy, and unable to keep that specific cocky smile off his face when he had a job well done.

Yeah, Barry wasn't as good at keeping that secret as he thought he was. There were too many people close to him that 'just so happened' to work on metahuman stuff. But still, Captain Singh kept quiet about his knowledge. There were too many variables at stake and the last thing he wanted was to be the one who ruined the secret by getting caught up in all of it. No matter how many times he had that familiar, almost parental, swell of pride when he would watch The Flash save the say again.

This time when Captain Singh turned to his computer and turned on the monitor he was struck with all of the same notifications he was trying to avoid. Emails of condolence, newspaper articles, blog posts, phone messages—whose idea was it to have phone messages linked to their computers anyway? It angered him to see what people were saying, how they could speak dismissively and so _factually_ about Barry like that.

He wasn't just a member of the CCPD he was a member of the work family.

He wasn't just Henry Allen's son, he was someone who tried tirelessly to clear his family's name.

He wasn't a martyr, he was a person.

He was Barry Allen and he was gone.

Leaning forward to turn off his desktop screen, Captain Singh paused as something caught his eye. A new file. Of course he would notice it, like many other areas of his life he kept his desktop clean and tidy. So what was this new file? He clicked. It took a few seconds for the computer to react, to bring up the video file.

As soon as Captain Singh saw Barry's face he closed his eyes and clenched his fists. " _Fuck!"_ He slapped the table with the top of his hand, the sudden explosive sound making him jump as it shattered the silence around him. He could tell everyone was looking at him through the glass windows but didn't lower the blinds. He couldn't get up. Frozen. He was so frozen.

He was looking at the face of a dead man.

And if it weren't for how used to metahumans he had become, Captain Singh wouldn't believe it.

A message from the dead.

It took a long, tense, five minutes before Captain Singh managed to bring himself to start the video. The guilt gnawed at him. Which was crazy because he shouldn't have felt guilty. Everything with Zoom had been a Flash thing, not a CCPD thing and yet Captain Singh felt guilty. Maybe if he hadn't allowed Barry o work at the CCPD none of this would've happened. He would've gone to work in Keystone City and wouldn't have been around when the Particle Accelerator blew up, he wouldn't have been struck by lightning, wouldn't have been there when metahumans started popping up, and would've still been alive.

That's what his heart was saying though his mind, his critical mind knew it wasn't the truth.

Even if he hadn't become the Flash, Barry would've gone to help everyone anyway because that's what Barry Allen did.

Captain Singh took in a deep breath and started the video. The Barry on screen glanced at the camera for a few seconds, his eyes narrowing as they shifted back and forth over the screen.

_"Is it on?" he murmured to himself. "I don't…hm…" Barry leaned back and brought a hand up to his mouth, reaching over to look at a manual. "Oh…oh! It is on! Gosh…"_

Captain Singh chuckled to himself. As smart as Barry was, he could be a little bumbling sometimes.

Barry on screen cleared his throat and his face become serious. The Flash serious. It was like Captain Singh was looking at a completely different person than the smiling, enthusiastic, inconspicuous young man he had—in a sense—watched grow up.

Why did the good have to die young?

_"My name is Barry Allen…and I have a lot to say. Things that I never thought I would ever have to say, but due to unforeseen circumstances, if you're watching this, then you'll know I'm no longer here. I didn't make it back, no matter how hard I tired. I don't know if I stopped Zoom even though I tried my hardest. I want everyone to know I tried my hardest. I tried…"_

_Barry leaned back and rested his hands on his head. He let out a long breath, puffing up his cheeks for a second before they deflated. His blue-green eyes shifted towards the area right above the camera, pensive, haunting. Then, finally, Barry leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees._

_"Captain Singh. I know you're confused about why you're getting this video message. We were never that close and, honestly, I was afraid of you. For a long time, even when I was a kid and Joe would take me to visit the CCPD I would want to stay as far away from you as I could. Back then I didn't understand how hard your job was, how you were the first line of defense for what went on in the city. How you were the one who had to make some pretty tough decisions and face those consequences, even when people didn't agree with you. You could've turned me away when I came to interview for a job but you gave me a chance and I saw it firsthand._

_"Being a forensic scientist is hard. No matter how many times I would see live crime scenes and wonder what the lives of the victims were like. Their family, their friends, their whole lives that were cut short. It made me much more determined to work in forensics as it was horrifying. But what you don't know is how much you helped me, and how much you pushed me as time went on. No matter how much you scared me or was a bit of a hardass—"_

Captain Singh laughed.

_"—I knew you were doing it for a good reason. Nice people shouldn't get into this profession; you can't be nice all the time. There are times you have to make tough decisions, even if it's against what you believe in. That advice, the hoops I felt I had to jump through to get you to like me, that helped me. As me, Barry Allen, and…and as The Flash. Even if it was something you didn't like, you would hold steadfast to your decisions all with the strength I haven't seen in a lot of men. "_

_Barry grinned._

_"I remember this one time the entire precinct was working on a birthday party for Detective Chyre and we couldn't decide on whether or not to give him…oh it was so stupid…something like…" Barry started to snap his fingers._

"A cruise or a resort stay," Captain Singh said.

_"Oh! A cruise or a resort stay," Barry said, figuring it out seconds later. "And a lot of us were thinking of the resort and you opted for the cruise. It got to be this big…thing where we were all arguing and you decided to go with the cruise. So we got him that and when he opened his gift he looked up and said, 'What am I going to do with a senior citizens cruise? Are you trying to tell me something? I'm not that old!'"_

Captain Singh laughed along with Barry.

_"And even though we all knew he really hated the idea, you sold him on it and he ended up having a great time. That's what I really took form you Captain Singh, that there's always a silver lining to things. My silver lining was when I got struck by lightning. Even though I was in a coma for nine months I came out a different man. I worked to be a hero the city would be proud of, all because of the different practices and ideas I implemented that I learned from watching you. I had all of the respect in the world for you, Captain Singh, and I can only hope you had the same for me. Even if there were times you scared me more than any of these speedsters could."_

_Barry's grin was back and he held up a finger._

_"By the way, it was me that pranked you by switching out your Big Belly Burger with vegetarian and vegan patties last April Fool's Day. I'm sorry Joe got in trouble for that. I don't know if I'll tell Joe, though. He'd kill me."_

Barry's and Captain Singh's smiles faded at the same time.

_"But…if you're seeing this then…well…something else killed me. Captain Singh, the CCPD is like a family and I know this is going to hit you all hard. But I want you to know I never hated you, I never hated working here. The CCPD was one of the best things that have ever happened to me. I saw you like my sort of mentor sometimes and I know if things were different, you would've worked hard to protect me and the rest of the city like you pledged to do every day, just as I did for you. I know you won't be able to pick on that 'Baby-Face' anymore but I hope you continue to pass on your wisdom to whoever takes my place. Thank you for not giving up on me when times got tough. I know I could be a little difficult to work with at times, especially being late all the time. But you never fired me over it so that's awesome."_

_He gave a thumbs up._

_"So I guess the last thing I need is to lay it all out on the line…"_

_Barry looked directly into the camera._

_"My name is Barry Allen," Barry said. "And I'm The Flash."_

* * *

**A/N:** This is a short story of about 5 chapters long. Originally found on FFN under the penname DarkElements10! Hope you guys like it!


	2. Joe and Iris West

**Joe and Iris West**

* * *

Joe couldn't bring himself to go into the room.

 _That_ room, that fucking room down at the end of the hallway that wasn't very far from his own. That room that haunted him so much more than any of the worst cases he'd ever seen on the job. And there'd been some really tough ones to move through. Ones that would have him curled up in bed and crying his eyes out for those affected by it, for the families left behind, for the lives lost. He knew how that felt, many times over.

And now this?

_This?_

Why was life so unfair? Why was life so cruel? Why was life able to continue to move on when the ones suffering through tragedy were stuck in the thickest, deepest, darkest mud that wouldn't wash off no matter how many times they tried to stay clean. That continued to drag them down even on a good day, that came back when the sun would blot out and the sky would open up and shoot a torrential downpour to create that mud all over again.

Joe couldn't bring himself to walk down that hallway when he knew there was the chance he'd risk a glance at the door, waiting to see him inside. To hear the sounds of him racing back and forth around the room trying to figure out what to wear that day. To hear the sound of the door—which was perpetually squeaky—blast open and close when he would go off to face whatever was attacking the city.

So night after night Joe slept on the couch. He moved his clothes downstairs and bathed in the bathroom sink so as not to go up there. _Anything_ not to go up there and risk taking a peek.

Iris watched him with concerned eyes when they weren't welling up with their own tears. She knew what it was like to be a parent now, in a way. She took care of her dad as much as he could now that he took leave from work. She made sure he ate, noticing he was starting to thin out even though it had only been a week and a few days, she made sure he shaved, bathed, actually got some exercise even if it was walking around the block. And she would walk with him, looping her arm through his, holding his hand, making sure he was _there._

She took that for granted with Barry. He was always there for her, she could jump out of a window after being chased by some goons and he'd be there to catch her. But she never took the time to make sure he _was_ there, in the present, that he was there for her to hug when either of them needed it. That she could turn around and smile and hang out with him like they used to.

So they could be Iris and Barry; best friends.

Not Iris and The Flash; co-workers.

He was her absolute best friend, a piece of her world and that world was now gone. Forever. She had never seen it coming. Sure, she made jokes about it; 'We better hand out now before someone sweeps you up and takes you away', 'Be careful Barry, you may have these powers but you're still you', 'One day you'll realize that compared to you everyone around us is so boring and you'll leave Central City in a burst of lightning'. And they'd always laugh because it was ridiculous.

Barry would never get tired of Central City. He would never get tired of his friends. He would never get tired of hanging out with Iris. Yes, they worked together in a very dangerous and thankless profession—was it really a job if you weren't getting paid for it?—and worked to make sure that Central City was still the safe haven they grew to love.

And now he was gone.

She didn't have him to turn to.

So many times within that past week she would hear a sound in the hallway—maybe the house settling—and she'd get excited, knowing that Barry was back to tell her what had happened on that mission.

Then there'd be silence, continued silence she hadn't grown used to.

Barry was never quiet.

He fumbled around a lot, always dropping something.

And it always mad her laugh.

Now whenever she laughed, which was at little videos on the internet, or small memories she'd come across while looking at photos she'd burst into tears, feeling she was betraying him. How could she laugh like that when he was gone? Like he was forgotten. She _did_ forget, forget that he couldn't laugh with her. Sometimes she thought she heard him laugh with her and it'd send a shiver down her spine much like the large bursts of wind when he'd run by would.

But her hair wouldn't shoot back from her face, her eyes wouldn't water from the onslaught of near gale-force winds, clothes wouldn't have to be fixed time and time again because he wasn't there anymore.

She tried not to cry in front of Joe, Joe tried not to cry in front of her, and they continued to play this cat and mouse game of who could leave the room before they burst into tears.

They came back from one of their daily walks to feel that something was different. The house was as quiet as ever, no one was moving around, but there was a certain presence there. A presence that only Barry had.

Joe and Iris slowly moved through the front door, looking at each other then looked to peer around the doorways that lead to the kitchen and the living room. How silly, no one was there, why would they expect something. And then Iris noticed it by the front door, a package they had missed coming up the stairs. She turned over and grabbed it, clutching it tightly to her chest as Joe closed the door.

"What's that, baby?" Joe asked in his low rumble. Since Barry passed he barely spoke higher than a mumble. Almost as if his ability to completely function had gone.

"I don't know," Iris replied.

She turned the box over in her hand and gasped as she saw the note on the front. _To Iris and Joe._ In Barry's handwriting. She knew that handwriting anymore as she dubbed it 'eligible chicken scratch' like his brain moved faster than his body. How ironic, she thought, realizing later that he worked that way even before the lightning strike.

"Dad," she turned it towards Joe.

Joe took the box in shaking hands, looking over the handwriting.

Tears clouded Iris's vision, making everything shimmer and swim as she tried her hardest not to cry. She took in a deep breath and wiped at her eyes, watching as Joe continued to stare at the words on the front of the package. Finally, he turned and walked to the couch, dropping down on it and holding the box in his lap.

"Well…" Iris sniffed. She sat down next to him. "Open it."

Joe cleared his throat and nodded. And nodded again. Finally, he took a deep breath and popped open the sides, revealing a laptop inside. Joe carefully released it from the box and placed it in his lap. He opened the lid and pressed the power button. The screen immediately brightened, coming up on a desktop, no password required. There was no background picture; Iris felt her heart sink when she realized it.

She had at least hoped there'd be some sort of a memory they shared. Or just a picture of Barry. Anything. As it was, she didn't recognize the laptop, it wasn't Barry's, his was still in his room. She still knew the password to it—as they shared passwords in case something happened and they needed to wipe off any 'questionable' content—but couldn't bring herself to do it.

This laptop didn't have anything on it other than a video file that sat in the center of the screen saying 'OPEN ME'.

Iris reached forward and clicked on it before Joe could stop her or Iris could stop herself. It immediately started to play, showing Barry onscreen. Tears immediately came back to Iris's eyes as she laid her eyes on her best friend. Joe reached out and grabbed onto her hand, squeezing it tightly.

_On screen, Barry raised his hand. "Hey Joe, hey Iris," he greeted. He started off with a smile that quickly turned serious. "Wow, I guess I don't really know where to go from here. I bet you know why you're getting this message now and not before and what it means…I hope you never get to see this but if you do…well, that's good too. Because then you'll know how I feel about this and everything. The first thing I want to say is 'I'm sorry'. I'm sorry for all of the pain and hurt you're going to go through. I'm sorry that there's going to be a lot of unanswered questions left behind that may never be answered. I'm sorry that I couldn't have done more."_

"God, Bare," Joe murmured.

Iris squeezed his hand.

_"Joe…you've been the best father I could have had. And I know it was hard over the years with both of us knowing that I'm not really your son. But in many ways I am your son and I am a West. I'm a…a WestAllen, because our families have been brought together for a long time, even before what happened. You and my mom and dad were best friends and you were just as hurt as I was when what happened happened. I know I was…so pissed at you when you were one of the people that didn't believe me about the Reverse-Flash, but even then I know how hard it had to have been. You just lost both of your best friends to what may or may not have been a murder attempt from someone you knew for a long time, and I was stuck in the middle. You took me in and helped raise me when my dad couldn't._

_"You did everything you could to make me feel like I was really part of the family, like I wasn't different from Iris in any way. You even helped me try out for the football team and I never thought I would ever do that. But you always pushed me out of my comfort zone and that's something I took in with me in all areas of my life. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have become the Flash that very first day that I needed to be. I wouldn't have stopped that tornado. I wouldn't have saved Iris's life so many times."_

"Idiot," Iris murmured.

She said that a lot about Barry's Flash shenanigans. He would come back from every sense of danger with a smile on his face, after scaring her half to death.

And she's reach out and knock him on the arm, calling him every name under the sun for worrying them all—worrying her—so much.

And yet he'd laugh and give her a reassuring smile.

He couldn't do that anymore.

That hurt more than anything.

_"I wouldn't have become a great man without you raising me the way you have, without you sacrificing so much for me. Your time, your effort, your home. I knew every time I went somewhere that I could come back to you or Iris and I'd be home. You're as much of my family as my own family is and I love you as much. Joe, you're my dad for life. I know we had some bumps along the way what with my attitude and everything, and when you'd get frustrated when trying to help me with homework when I knew more than you did—"_

Joe and Iris laughed.

_"—But I wouldn't trade any of those memories for anything. Thank you so much for everything you've done. I don't think I would've turned out even a fraction of the way I have if it wasn't for you. And I don't think I can ever accurately show that gratitude so I hope you know it."_

_On screen, Barry ran his hand through his hair. "Iris," he said. "You're my absolute best friend in the world. We've known each other since we were kids. And as much as…as much as it hurts to think about my m mom being one all the time, if it hadn't have happened and I hadn't moved in, I don't think we would've been able to be best friends. You wouldn't have made my stronger by beating me up all the time-"_

"—I never beat you up," Iris heard herself saying. Then she was surprised when on screen Barry said, _"Yes, Iris you beat me up. Every time Joe tried to teach us boxing and self-defense you would wail on me each and every time. I think you got some sick sort of entertainment out of it. Or you just got to be too competitive. Remember when we broke the TV playing video games?"_

"I do," Joe grunted.

Iris winced. Okay, so maybe they both got a little mad and shouldn't have thrown those controllers at the TV. But geez, it was a terrible game and they hated to lose and they kept screwing each other over and…

Iris could at least now smile and laugh at the memory. Her father, on the other hand, probably not. That had been an expensive TV, an expensive video game system that he had gotten Barry in the first place, and they both got an ass-beating—literally and figuratively—over it.

She focused on the video once more.

_"But you know what I thought every time you beat me up? That you're a strong girl. That you're never going to let anyone push you over or walk over you. And you proved that o me every day. I admired that about you. I know I never said it, but I really did. I was always so surprised that you could go into any situation with a bright smile and an air of confidence that I could only ever dream of having. So I tried to do what you did. It didn't always work but I felt myself getting better for it. I could feel myself growing more and more confident as the days passed just by following your lead. It's what made it easier to go away to college; I knew you were going to be okay without me there. Let's face it, I never really had to protect you over anything. You protect me more than anything else._

_"Most guys would be embarrassed by that but I'm not. I would never be embarrassed by it or you. I'm proud of you and everything you've done and everything you will continue to accomplish. I'm just so sorry that you have to lose someone so close to you again. I'm sort I couldn't come back with a smile and have you call me an idiot like you always did. I actually looked forward to it believe it or not, because it would remind me of our childhood. Of how we would run around and get into stupid things whether or not it was yours or my fault, even though it was mostly your fault."_

That was certainly true. Iris worked hard to bring Barry out of his shell after he got to the West house. The first couple of days he didn't speak. Her father took time off work to be there for him if he was needed and Iris could admit she was a little jealous. But she felt for him all the same. So after the first few days she made the executive decision that she was going to take the day off school and stay with him. And they talked. She was the only person that talked to him about his mom because everyone else was so afraid he'd be upset.

They talked for a long time and then Iris took him to the backyard so they could kick a soccer ball back and forth. Barry soon got into it, smiling wider and wider as the seconds passed. How was she supposed to know that on her neck kick she would hit him directly in the face, giving him a black eye? The first of many, as it turned out.

But he didn't blame her when Joe asked what happened.

Instead he made up some sort of an explanation of falling to the ground and hit his face at a certain angle to do it. He used so many big and scientific words, even for an eleven year old; that Joe didn't question it and Iris didn't understand.

All she knew was that Barry had lied for her and that made them close friends. Friends covered for each other with their parents all the time. They continuously reminded each other of that at certain times and would burst out laughing without Joe knowing why.

_"I often wondered what life would be like if I hadn't moved in with you guys. I wondered if we'd still be friends. I sort of had that when I went to college because I didn't have to walk around with everyone knowing me as 'the murderer's son' or 'that poor boy' instead of Barry Allen. But that's the part where things were weird because you weren't there for me to hang out with all the time. We come as a pair, there's no Barry Allen without Iris West and there's no Iris West without Barry Allen. I'm sure we've annoyed Eddie and other people about that all the time, with our history and that we can sort of leave people out, but they wouldn't understand."_

_Barry took in a deep breath._

_"There were many times over the years where I felt like giving up. Where I would want to do something that…that would take me back to my mom. I got down to some really dark times if I'd have too much time to think about it. But you guys would always bring me back. Everything I did as The Flash was for you guys, to show you how much I cared and wanted to be sure you were safe. I couldn't stand the thought if anything happened to you guys."_

_Barry looked at his watch and grimaced. "Oh, geez, I'm running late. What else is new." Then his cell phone rang and he looked at the screen, grimacing even further. "Captain Singh…" he let out a long sigh and answered the call. "Allen."_

_Even from the video Iris and Joe and could hear Captain Singh's loud demand to know where Barry was._

_"I'm on my way I'm…just…stuck in the…bank, trying to withdraw some money. Long lines and all of that." Barry paused and said shamefully, "Yes, I know I could just use the ATM outside…I guess I just didn't see it. I'm on my way."_

Joe and Iris laughed then started to cry. Iris turned and grabbed onto her father, holding him tightly as she finally allowed herself to grieve.

_Barry hung up and let out along breath. "That's…annoying." He turned back to the screen. "But I wouldn't be me if I didn't have Captain Singh after me, right?" He laughed. "I really do have to go. I love you both. Please, please try to be there for each other, okay? I know you're hurting but…be there for each other. I know how you can both get, you're really stubborn. Don't be stubborn with your feelings."_

_And with that Barry raced off screen with a flash of light, but not before ending his video with,_

_"My name is Barry West-Allen."_


	3. Cisco and Caitlin

**Cisco and Caitlin**

* * *

 

Cisco stared at the ceiling of his apartment. Stared at the rain spots that turned the pristine white paint, brown and dingy. There was nothing remarkable about it, really, just that he was now noticing it. He was noticing a lot of things about his apartment and everything around him now that he stopped and took the time to do it. He had too much time on his hand but what was he supposed to do now that everything that had been his life over the past couple of years was gone, taking his best friend with it?

Caitlin sat on his couch, routinely bringing a hand up to brush her hair out of her face. Almost a tick now. Even if her hair wasn't in danger of moving she would move her hand like that. Flinch when her hair actually _did_ touch her face, startling her just as much as a sudden wind did now. She stared at the laptop that had been delivered to them.

"Cait," Cisco said quietly.

Caitlin closed her eyes, shook her head.

"Cait, we have to," he said.

He lowered his feet from the kitchen table and got up from his seat, walking over to her. He dropped down onto the couch next to her and placed his arm around her shoulders. She flinched for a moment before turning and leaning into his side. Cisco pressed a kiss to the top of her head and gently rubbed her shoulder. Tears came to his eyes.

"I miss him, too," he said.

"I know," Caitlin replied. "I know you do."

Of course she did. When Barry died she was the first person that moved to comfort him, immediately went to his apartment to sleep on his couch for comfort, stayed up with him when he needed someone to talk to. Maybe she acted a little too coldly at times, going through the motions too easily. But how else was she supposed to act? She'd lost so many people over the years it was almost second nature to her. It was a comfort to him as much as it was a hurt to her. The more she tried to ignore it the worst she became. Almost neurotic, obsessive compulsive, making sure everyone else was okay but not taking care of herself.

Dark circles tinged the bags under her eyes, her hair limp and lifeless, practically living in sweats and rarely putting on any makeup. Cisco certainly wasn't better; he rarely changed out of his own sweats, didn't comb his hair, just pulled it back into a messy bun that he only took down for the shower when he _did_ take a shower. Didn't shave, just as dark of circles under his eyes due to not sleeping.

If he slept he saw it all over again.

Caitlin looped her arm around Cisco's waist and squeezed him as tightly as he held her. They needed to hold each other, to hold _on_ to each other in their pain. Caitlin took a deep breath and lifted her head off Cisco's shoulder. She looked at him and nodded, finally ready.

Cisco nodded back and started the video that played on the laptop.

_On screen, Barry smiled at the two. "Cisco, Caitlin," he said. "It's weird that I'm talking to you here even though you're just upstairs. I could be saying all of this to your face but…I don't think I can. I know, weird right? Barry Allen, the motional guy that can't seem to tell you guys what I'm feeling to your face. Maybe it's because I'm scared." He ran a hand through his hair. "I am scared. But not scared of what's going to happen, of what could happen. But scared of what's going to happen to you two when it does. You've already seen something like this happen when the Particle Accelerator blew the first time. I know how…devastated you guys were to lose everyone you cared about. Your jobs. Your reputation. But you stuck with what you had been doing with Dr. Wells and…waited. Waited for me to come out of the coma._

_"You stayed with me while I was in my coma. For nine months you were there for me. And I'm sure you've seen a different side of me that I'm sure I never would've wanted anyone to see." He chuckled to himself. Then his eyes narrowed. "You even went through my Facebook page to figure out the sort of things I was into, to get to know me as a person and not just as 'that guy in the coma'. In a strange way I think that made it sure that we were going to be friends even before we actually met. I mean, how many people can wake up with the request to pee in a cup for them?"_

Caitlin smiled, brushed a tear away from her eye.

Cisco shook his head, Poker Face started to play softly in the back of his mind. He had grown sick of that song after having played it for the first couple of months while Barry had been knocked out. (Hey, he heard it worked for the Green Day fan who was in a coma, why not try it?) But as he continued to go through Barry's Facebook page he found different parts of the guy's life and started to become engrossed in it. Then he found enjoyment in playing the song again, after seeing how it made his brain waves start to show signs of life.

_"After that, after I woke up, you started to talk to me like nothing had happened. And even when I showed my powers you didn't treat me any differently. I wasn't just The Flash to you guys; I was Barry Allen, who happened to be the Flash. Having you as my team to back me up…that made us go from strangers to friends incredibly fast. Faster than I thought was possible. And I loved that about you guys, even if we had different backgrounds we were all the same in our endeavors to save Central City and each other. You saved me from as many things as I may have saved you from. I can't begin to explain how much I appreciate that and appreciate you guys._

_"Cisco, before I met you I had no one to be myself around. I couldn't feel that I was able to be the full on nerdy Barry Allen without people looking at me differently until I met you. Not to say you're a nerd, but even you have to admit you have a massive collection of novelty t-shirts. Oh by the way." Barry sniffed and leaned towards the screen. "If you ever noticed a few of them are missing, Caitlin's been taking them out of your closet and replacing them with nicer shirts."_

"I knew it," Cisco said. But he couldn't saw it with conviction. There was no fight, no fire left in him, but still, Caitlin could tell he was a little annoyed.

"Some of them were falling apart," Caitlin defended herself in the same tone. "And you have to admit; we went to enough functions for STAR Labs that you needed more dress shirts."

"You could've asked."

"Shh."

_"And Caitlin, I know there were many times I've scared you. Especially after Ronnie passed...twice. But you made sure I came back each and every time, figuratively and literally. You've saved my butt more times than I can count. And you've given me some of the best advice I've ever gotten, even when I didn't realize I needed it. You guys…you two are the heart and soul of Team Flash and I wouldn't have been the Flash if it wasn't for you. Take away the power and the suit and I'm just a guy who's crazy enough to go running into danger to take down whoever is disrupting the city. But you guys are the ones that help me figure out how to do it and keep me going when I think I can't do it. I don't know how to thank you more than that."_

_Barry licked his lips and looked off to the side for a moment. Then his lips pulled back into a smile, his eyes lighting up. He faced the camera once more._

_"I just want you to know, without a doubt, you guys are the best friends I've ever had. You're not just my friends; you're my brother and sister. I love you guys a lot and—"_

_"—what are you doing, man?" Cisco's voice came from off-screen._

Caitlin and Cisco both started to laugh when they realized they were coming on screen, remembering when they caught Barry doing this. It had seemed to insignificant at the time. Just watching him doing something that didn't seem to make much sense at the time. If they had known, maybe they would've paid more attention.

_"Yeah, we're supposed to be working on your reflexes," Caitlin's voice said. It took a few seconds for the two to appear on screen over Barry's shoulders, peering directly into the camera._

_"Nothing," Barry said quickly. "I was just checking out some of our recording equipment. You know, in case something ever happens at STAR Labs."_

_"What's going to happen at STAR Labs?" Cisco snorted. "We're an impenetrable force."_

_"If by impenetrable you mean that we need to consistently update our security…" Caitlin trailed off, pointedly looking at away from him._

_Cisco stood up straight and glared at her. "You couldn't let me have that one?"_

_"There was nothing to have Cisco," Barry pointed out with a light laugh. He reached out to try and turn off the camera but Cisco knocked his hand away. "What are you doing? Stop!"_

_"It looks like you were doing something important and as your friends—"_

_"My nosey friends." Barry made a swipe for the camera but Cisco backed out of his reach. If he really wanted it, he would've easily taken it back._

_"We have a right to know what it is. But since you're not going to tell us, we're just going to bug you instead." He panned the camera over to Caitlin who smiled and waved. "Say 'hi' to the camera, Caitlin."_

_"Hi," she said. Then she stopped waving and rested her hand on Barry's shoulder. "Come on, we've got to get going on this. We're playing Ping-Pong this time."_

_"Not Operation?" Barry teased._

_"No, I hate that game."_

_Barry leaned into the camera. "That's because she always loses."_

_"The game is anatomically incorrect and it's impossible to get the funny bone out. It's not my fault the game is poorly crafted." Cisco pushed the camera far into Caitlin's face and she glared at him and pushed it back out of the way._

_"Whatever, Caitlin. You and I both know that you're just as competitive as everyone else and when you lose you just pout." Cisco then wedged himself in between Barry and Caitlin, practically laying across Barry's lap, making Barry laugh and Caitlin roll her eyes. "Okay, guys, I need some more pictures to put in my apartment. Say cheese."_

_"Cheese," Barry, Cisco, and Caitlin all said in unison, grinning._

_It took a few seconds for Caitlin to notice something off. She reached out and shoved Cisco on the shoulder. "Cisco, you left it on camera mode!"_

_"Give me that!" Barry lunged for the camera._

Their laughter blended together as the camera shook back and forth before it went dark.

Cisco closed his eyes. He pulled on Caitlin's shoulder, pulling her close to him as she stared to cry again. Barry was gone now, but Cisco could feel the pain starting to go away, starting to whither. Now that he knew Barry felt the same way he did. That they were brothers, not just BFFs.

They were family.


	4. Henry Allen

_"Dad, the first thing I want to say is I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm not going to be able to keep my promise to you. That I'm not….I'm not going to be able to see you again. If you're seeing this, anyway. I hope you don't have to see it but just in case…you need to know everything."_

Henry Allen spun a beer bottle back and forth in his hands. He had never been one to drink too much, but as of late it seemed the best way to get through things. It was going to be his last beer, though. He was done with wallowing in pity. He was done grieving; he grieved enough when he first learned that Barry was the Flash. He knew this day would come sooner or later.

But he hoped it was much later.

_"Dad, I love you more than anything," Barry said on camera._

Tears came to his eyes and Henry smiled. That's what he was most proud of. How he raised his son to be a sensitive man, to be unafraid of showing his emotions. To be someone who would help as many people he could without worrying about himself. How Barry was able to take a beating better than anyone else he had known, with scraped knees and elbows, black eyes and split lips and hold his head high as he continued to help other people who were being broken down by the bullies and injustices around them.

_"I lived every day as The Flash for you," Barry continued. "To help clear you of mom's murder. And when I did that, when you finally got out of jail, I kept that thought in the back of my mind. Of making you proud. Because I knew there was something that I had to keep me going no matter how beat down I got. I had my friends to help pick me up but it was you and mom that fueled me all the time. I had to keep making you proud."_

Henry took in a deep breath and rested his hands atop his head, in very much the same way Barry did. He got that form Barry, or maybe Barry got it from him? He wasn't so sure anymore. A lot of his life continued to blend together now, what it was like before everything fell apart around him. What was life like when he still had his family.

Warmth spread over him at that moment. What felt like a hand caressing his cheek. Henry closed his eyes when the familiar, flowery scent of his wife filled the air.

No.

He wasn't alone.

He hadn't been alone. Nora was always with him. Just as Barry was always going to be.

_"Dad, whatever happens know that I wasn't scared. I went into it so I could save you and the rest of the city. I knew it was possible that Zoom was going to kill me. I always knew that was a possibility. But I still did it because I knew I had to. If I didn't many other people were going to die. I'd gladly give myself up so others wouldn't get hurt. Maybe now that I'm gone others will rise up to take him down. Maybe I've instilled some sort of hope in them that everyone else had been telling me. Maybe there are others that can do more than I could. You see, I don't want them to remember me as a legend or a fallen hero. But I had to let them know."_

_Barry ran his hands over his face, wiping away his tears. He sniffed._

Then Henry saw something in his face change. He wasn't Barry anymore, he was The Flash. Henry could see the strength move into his shoulders, making him stand taller. His eyes shown with renewed promise and courage that Henry had never seen in him before.

_"I thought it was time for them to know, for everyone to know who was the one who was saving Central City. Not because I'm looking for the glamour and the fame. But that I think everyone needs to know that even people like me can be a hero. Every young boy, girl, man, woman…it doesn't take superpowers to be a hero. It just takes a heart, love, friendship…and knowing that the more you cherish those things the more you can spread it around."_

_Barry smiled. "And maybe, just maybe, you'll live long enough to see that change grow wings and take flight."_

Henry stood up and pulled on his jacket. He moved slowly, smiling as if Barry was behind him, helping him put it on as he always did. He didn't have to but he always did, ever since he was a kid and would stand on the steps to be above him so that he could reach. Then he would wrap his arms around his father's neck and get a short piggy back ride to the door before being dropped and saying goodbye.

Henry smiled, slowly lowering his hands from the collar of his jacket.

The feeling was gone.

His wife was gone.

His son was gone.

He didn't have anyone left.

But he wouldn't allow himself to get pulled into the darkness again. He had to live for the family he lost, to keep living so that when they finally met each other again, he had more stories to tell.

Besides, he had one more video to deliver.


	5. Central City

**Central City**

* * *

_"I thought it was time for them to know, for everyone to know who was the one who was saving Central City."_

A crowd gathered in front of the memorial that had been set up. A sea of black clothes amongst the otherwise bright day. There wasn't a smiling face in the crowd. Captain Singh, Joe, Iris, Cisco, Caitlin, and Henry stood at the front of the group, staring in front of the smiling image of Barry from one of the videos. The last image of him smiling only the way Barry Allen could.

And they felt peace.

Oliver Queen stood to the far aside of the memorial, not wanting to take too much attention away from what was really important. A fallen friend and hero. He stood with his hands clasped in front of him, a stoic expression as he studied the picture before him. A picture of a man that held so much hope and blind faith for everyone that it amazed him. When they first met, Barry even stood up to Oliver, more so than anyone else ever had and over the years Barry had certainly become more like his brother than a friend.

He had lost so many people over the years but, somehow, this one hurt the most. Maybe because he understood how young Barry still was. How much life and happiness he still had left to experience. How much of it he still had to share.

Oliver felt grateful he was one of those people it had been shared with.

He slowly started to smile.

_"Not because I'm looking for the glamour and the fame. But that I think everyone needs to know that even people like me can be a hero. Every young boy, girl, man, woman…it doesn't take superpowers to be a hero."_

One by one the crowd walked forward to place a single flower at the foot of the memorial, moving around his closest friends and family to do so, giving them small nods of condolence. And yet each of them were smiling because they had the pleasure of knowing the man they had lost.

_"It just takes a heart, love, friendship…and knowing that the more you cherish those things the more you can spread it around. And maybe, just maybe, you'll live long enough to see that change grow wings and take flight."_

Even as the words from Barry's last tape played over the crowd, played across the news outlets, played across the radio, Central City was shocked and grieving.

Because no one in Central City thought that when they'd bury the Flash they'd essentially bury a kid.

And his name was Barry Allen.

 

* * *

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone, I hope you enjoyed it. I hope it wasn’t too depressing. And I hope the ending was just as hope filled as the rest was kind of dark. Who knows what would happen if Barry ended up dying (though now I’m wondering how the show will actually end). I hope it resonated with you in some way.


End file.
